paulak_rumin8: Austin and speck (Default)

I don't have anything Valentine-specific to post, and I'm not writing at the moment, so I will take this opportunity to profile an excellent writing sample courtesy of my dear older brother, from eleven years ago. Why I had it saved in my e-mail's "For Future Use" folder, I don't know.

My most excellent sister Paula,

I would like to report to you an experiment preformed today in which I, in the good name of
science, heroically put forth my life on the course of great harm and unimaginable danger! 
For want of knowledge I felt it necessary to test a theory, which has enjoyed a great amount
of discourse as of recent, nevertheless, for which I have remained somewhat skeptical.  After
deciding my importance to the further development of mankind I ingested a certain amount of
Pop Rocks immediately followed by an ample swallow of Coca-Cola.  Gratified for the good
fortune bestowed my way and, I dare say, with much rejoicing, I did not discover my stomach
to be in any such state as to inflict discomfort nor find my gullet in danger of extreme internal
dilation.  Alas, I experienced a powerful, (moreover exhilarating!) expulsion of carbon dioxide
from the union of the two ingredients than by the simple consumption of the candy stones in their
singular form. Henceforth, I believe with all the certainty of my soul that the fair lad, Mikey - Eater
of Life - as it has been so erroneously reported, suffered no ill misfortune due to this concoct.

Alas, my dearest sister, I hope to find all is well.  I am but a busy wretch and must now bid
you good-bye.  Praise!  My health continues to be admirable and in its gracious form.  May heaven
continue to shower blessings upon you and save me that I may again express my gratitude for all
your kindness.

Yours,
M...       January, 2001

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