paulak_rumin8: Hardcaste and McCormick (Pulse Rate)
In the interest of pulling myself out of a slump, I visited the fanfiction.net site for an old, forgotten favorite of mine, Hardcastle and McCormick. I used to tape those episodes in...let's see...probably about 1990-ish. No, 1991. Summer. It was after my Scarecrow and Mrs. King phase.

Anyway, someone just posted a terrific filler for the season 3 episode called "If You Could See What I See," about a psychic who foresees Mark's apparent "death." Anyone familiar with my fan fiction may recognize the episode title and loosely, the premise, as suspiciously close to a Probe fic I wrote a few years ago. Shameless, I know. Ahem...it was a particular favorite episode of Hardcastle and McCormick. And it guest-starred Rosemary Clooney. Bonus.

This particular fan fiction was such an angst-y, satisfying read, and it was written by another RN like myself, making the medical references gleefully realistic. Oh yes, I recognize your hypovolemic shock! Medically-induced coma during post-op intubation, Dopamine drip titrated to preserve renal perfusion, broken bones being a tertiary concern, after stabilized vital signs, extubation, and infection control (well, it does no good to resolve hypovolemic shock only to succumb to septic shock).

So, a big kudos to Voyager Tip for this one: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10574615/1/From-the-Ravine-to-the-Cookies-Missing-Scenes-from-If-You-Could-See

One thing led to another, and I was ravaging the Hardcastle and McCormick stories, until I found more great reads. There are quite a few in this fandom, actually. Quite a few very talented authors. The whole thing inspired me to climb into the crawlspace and root out my old VCR tapes with the show on them. I was looking for the Rosemary Clooney ep, in particular. Did I find it? I found the right season and a number of episodes aggravatingly close to this one, but unfortunately, I have tape 45 and tape 47, but no tape 46. Dang it. Well, there's always Christmas to look forward to. I think Season 3 will end up at the top of my wish list.

In other news:

1. I am not now, nor am I soon to be...writing. It's just not happening. The well's dry.

2. Husband's Greek cooking has reaffirmed my faith in his inherent worth as a spouse and as a cook. The man is a genius in the kitchen, I swear.

3. Parker Stevenson day approaches, and anticipation increasingly turns to dread. I hate crowds. The event is too formal and controlled; I won't be able to be natural. I don't shine in these situations. I'd do much better at your average Comic Con, I think. What the hell was I thinking, anyway? Gaaah!

4. I really need something...perspective, I think...to pull out of this funk. Sleep probably would be a good start. I'd better wrap this up and go to bed.
paulak_rumin8: Austin and speck (Default)
As we approach the impending face-to-face with Parker Stevenson, a peculiar side of me has emerged...the fangirl. I truly believed I was immune to the phenomenon, but, as recent events suggest, that would be incorrect.

It began with the purchase of the ticket, which led to the need to replace myself that day at work, which led to the realization that...Dear Lord, what do I say to him? I can't waste such a unique opportunity receding into introverted oblivion that wouldn't dream of imposing anything so bold as EYE CONTACT.

So I did the only thing I could think of to prepare myself. Research. With the aid of Google, I researched Parker Stevenson. That was fun. Out of sincere respect, I steered clear of the obviously tabloid garbage and tried to stick with recent photos and interviews. I also took in his photography web page, which is thought provoking in itself. I caught the episode of Longmire he guest starred in last week.

Then the thought occurred to me: I don't want to meet him empty-handed. I should give him something, some token of appreciation. How about making a gift of one of my creative efforts in appreciation for one of his creative efforts? But not one of my stories. At 50K words or more, that's a commitment, not a token. And that would be weird. I had one other project in the works, my piano arrangement of the theme song for Probe. Perfect. So I spent some time completing and embellishing it, with much unsolicited assistance from a number of my children.

Oh, it turned out nice, though! I've been practicing it, to make sure it actually sounds decent. It's a swell rendition, if I do say so myself. Then came the problem of how to present my gift. I can't just hand him a stack of paper. So I copied the work onto three sheets of good, matte stock paper and bought a glossy folder to stick them in. Black would have been fitting, but it wasn't available. I ended up with a deep, blue-green that I imagine resembles the Pacific Ocean in full sun. Appropriate.

This is pathetically "fangirl." Who would have thought I'd sink to such lows. Aie! I am 41 years old! And the countdown continues.

Hiatus

May. 7th, 2014 12:02 am
paulak_rumin8: Austin and speck (Default)
Reasons I am taking a writing hiatus:

1. It's all Annabeth's fault. I'm watching The Hardy Boys right now.

2. Man, projects like this are a lot of work, and it's a lot of work to maintain the energy necessary to keep on track.

3. As usual, I do have other obligations to attend to.

4. My 2012 fic continues to reap in the hits, while my current project languishes. Drives me nuts, I tell you. Drives me absolutely nuts.

5. Where the hell am I going with this story line, anyway? I can't remember. At this point, I'll have to reread what I've written to figure out what I was doing. That's a lot of reading.

6. I don't like my own writing quite that well.

7. Must do something about this growing sleep debt. I'm starting to lose focus on more than just the writing.

8. I've already lost weight I never intended to lose with my preoccupation with writing. Maybe I should just put it aside and actually eat a meal once in a while.

9. Cabin fever. I am sick to death of being cooped up in the house, trying to finish out the year of homeschooling and keep laundry at bay. Must do something physically engaging.

10. Perhaps I just need a short break and a new perspective. With any luck, I'll change my mind by the weekend.
paulak_rumin8: Austin and speck (Default)
Why, why, why, why, why did I think it was a good idea to invite over the whole family to our house for a Cinco de Mayo-themed birthday party for a 1-year-old? My house is not tidy, and only a little bit clean...scratch that, it's not clean. I have more incontinence issues happening at home than I encounter at the retirement facility where I work. I have no sense of smell, but I am quite sure the house reeks of urine, cat, and grease smoke. The weather's been crappy and husband still hasn't mowed once this season. The kids dug a three-foot deep hole in the backyard.

On the bright side, I finished chapter 6 tonight and got it posted. Also, I'm in a psychological place where I'm simply not dwelling on all the angst, and I'm just content to be. In fact, I think I will treat myself to a little DVD viewing and go on to bed. Nothing to be accomplished tonight by fretting.
paulak_rumin8: Austin and speck (Default)
So, for day 2, I'm looking at recommending 3 fanworks of others' that are essentially underrated. This one required me to apply myself and actually create links, but I'm fairly game so here it goes...

1. Christmas Party by lasergirl is from the Adderly fandom. There are few Adderly stories out there, and this one is, in my opinion, the best. It really captures the quirkiness of Mona and the wit of Adderly, as well as their comfortable friendship that only toys with the very idea of ever going deeper. http://archiveofourown.org/works/77234

Ahh, nuts. I was looking all over for #2 and I can't relocate it. So now it's after 10:00 and I have to be up early, so I'm going to bed. Again, this would probably be easier if I had a greater base to draw from, but I'm relatively new to the whole fanart phenomenon, so this will have to be put off until I have more time to devote to the assignment.
paulak_rumin8: Austin and speck (Default)
Tonight I laid seige to my household, swept through like a whirling dervish, cleaning, reordering, commanding, demanding, bemoaning. It was brutal. No one was safe from the onslaught, not even the cats (Get OUT of that popcorn, Gizmo, you know it makes you throw up!). I found a wet diaper in among toy debris in the family room, and husband had the lapse in good judgement to call my upset with the find "nit-picking." An indignant tirade involving a barrage of words flying at no less than 85 words per minute ensued.
 
In spite of this, everyone ended up comfortably tucked in their beds, husband included, by 9:15. Now I am chomping on microwave popcorn and contemplating a cream soda. I got the laundry up and running. I am not about to tackle bills at this point, nor am I interested in delving into the miserable business of lesson planning. We're up to the first quarter end, and I usually give that 2 weeks to complete anyway. Anyway, it's close to 10:00, and I've had a hectic day from beginning to end and I'm out of interest in applying myself any further toward anything particularly productive. At this point, I have given myself express permission to indulge in recreational computer tinkering, a bit of a snack, and bed--just as soon as husband gets up to go to work.

My fanfiction writer I admire is wrapping up her terrific story, and that's been so much fun to follow. She posts one chapter a day. You can tell it's a special piece because it has 45 reviews and 15 follows. Nice. Now that I've given myself some space from my own project, I'm thinking of going back and rewriting each chapter according to the finer points of the plot I worked out before I try to complete the story. I still think I can finish it, but I need to get the earlier stuff improved first.
paulak_rumin8: Austin and speck (Default)

I don't know whether I'll be able to finish this blasted story anymore. It's a cute irony. I finally brainstormed a solution to the convoluted plot I created. I nailed down who's good, who's bad, and who's playing both sides and to what degree. I couldn't come up with this a couple of months ago for anything. But now it doesn't seem to matter. I don't have the heart or the energy to revise what I've written so far to firmly reflect what I've decided about the characters, and I can't write the last few chapters at all. All my energy is wrapped up in the singularly engaging project of growing a new human being. I don't seem to have space in me to share that energy with anything else.

The children want me to be home. They want me to do homeschool with them, which is flattering albeit impossible. Oh, yeah, I recognize this mood. Let's see, I believe it was in April or May. Let me check...

Sometimes I look back at certain, critical junctures of my life and find myself growing thoughtful. Once upon a time, I passed through one door and swung shut another. What if I had reversed that scenario? What if my criteria for making life-altering decisions had been ordered differently? What if the most life-altering choices in life weren't settled in my glorious-but-oblivious youth?


Yep, that's the mood and it was indeed in May. The good news is I entered into a highly creative and productive phase a month later. The real question is, can I multitask this time around? At this moment, I'm ready to take my story and kick it to the curb. Of course, in the mood I'm in, I'm ready to offer it the company of hubby, too.

I do believe this calls for a moratorium on any curb-kicking, and I shall enjoy a dish of rainbow sherbet and an episode of well-being inducing television fluff.

Uh-oh...

Sep. 24th, 2012 10:05 pm
paulak_rumin8: Austin and speck (Default)
The project is stalled. I've got a great collection of reasons. For fun, let's list them.

Reasons My Writing Project is Standing Neglected

1. I'm nauseated and cranky and I don't feel like writing about other people's problems.

2. Someone else is in the process of posting a story I'm enjoying, and mine doesn't give me as much pleasure.

3. It kind of hurts to think that hard.

4. I'd rather be sleeping.

5. I ought to be flipping loads of laundry and paying the bills.

6. Homeschool.

7. Scouts.

8. I have this job that interferes with my extracurricular writing time.


So tonight, at dinner, my 7-year-old whacked his head on a kitchen cabinet and he started bleeding like the dickens from his scalp, which caused him to sort of freak out and scream, which led to general chaos among all the children. Fortunately, I am a trained professional. I calmly administered first aid, talked down the panicky  child, had one kid wipe up the mess on the floor, and another kid summon his father from the garage where he was taking a social call...all so I could yell at poor husband for not being available to pour the milk so 7-year-old wouldn't have placed his head in such close proximity to the cabinet. Poor husband. Anyway, the bleeding stopped, and as is often the case with head wounds, the bleeding was far out of proportion to the miniscule cut in his hairline.

Now it's almost 10:30, and I'm sleepy but my stomach is growling and I want something to make it stop. Guess it's time to go trolling the kitchen before I head for bed.

Uncle

Aug. 6th, 2012 04:52 pm
paulak_rumin8: Austin and speck (Default)

About seven months ago I read a fanfic so good it was scary. Totally threw me off the story I was working on at the time and gave me a lot of incentive to improve my descriptiveness. Today I made the tactical error of revisiting the same fanfic. That piece is still scary good. It is humbling just to read it. I still can't figure out how to incorporate that level of sensory awareness without bogging down the plot. If I had to pinpoint where this writing style excels (and I struggle) it must be in pacing. The author seems to have an intuitive sense for when to amble forward with the plot and when to sit and stay a while.

I wrote the first third of Chapter 7 last night. I was really going to try and finish up that chapter today, but I feel a need to retreat for a bit. Maybe I'll watch some SMK episodes and catch some inspiration.

Maybe if I spent more time reading books I would have a more expansive vocabulary. I have a pretty good range, as far as nouns and adjectives. I feel really stifled when it comes to verbs and adverbs. I keep using the same favorite set over and over, which gets tedious. Describing facial expressions is difficult, too. I can see it, but to get it in written form is a challenge. How many synonyms are there for the word "look"? I need five more than that.

I pulled apart a little piece of chapter 8 to try and rewrite it more vividly, but that is not working out right now and I'm getting frustrated with it. Must remind myself not to read fanfic while I write fanfic. That sure stirs up all the little neuroses.
paulak_rumin8: Austin and speck (Default)
Tomorrow is the Great Roadtrip. I love road trips, I really do. What I hate is preparing for them. I got home from work this evening and began a marathon of laundry washing. Got the kids fed and then otherwise-wonderful husband invited the kids to get busy and start packing themselves. Since then, it has been for me a steady unraveling into maternal hysteria. I have merely taken a break from the chaos to share my angst with the cyberworld. Ah-h-h-h-h. I can feel the decompression.

I have the added internal pressure of wanting very badly to complete chapter 6 of the SMK project tonight. I figure after the kids are in bed and the laundry is spinning, I can get that wonderful idea I have cooking set down in print. In the meantime, I have fussy kids and a talky husband and a true need for some kind of mild sedative. Absolutely nothing with caffeine! I might implode.
paulak_rumin8: Austin and speck (Default)
Sometimes I look back at certain, critical junctures of my life and find myself growing thoughtful. Once upon a time, I passed through one door and swung shut another. What if I had reversed that scenario? What if my criteria for making life-altering decisions had been ordered differently? What if the most life-altering choices in life weren't settled in my glorious-but-oblivious youth? I think this phenomenon, this mental rewriting of the road not taken, occurs when you realize your current opportunties have substantially dwindled and the sky's not the limit anymore. I do believe the term for this is "midlife crisis." I absolutely fail to see how the purchase of a flashy sports car could possibly alleviate the situation. Instead, I choose to watch lots of old TV and eat salad. I could eat junk food, but there's no reason to let myself go or anything. Besides, the way I cream n'sugar my coffee, I get my fix for sweets daily by 10 a.m.

My husband was telling me a story he heard from a policeman who came by the gas station last night. Husband encourages reliable folks, like truckers, railroad workers, and police officers, to hang around at night so he's not alone with scary people who happen by. He does this by plying them with lots of free coffee. Anyway, the story is, this police officer had to try and pull over a drunk driver, a teen, who was behind the wheel of a stolen combine. How do you pull over a combine? It's really big, like a tank. You can't shoot out the tires. You can't lay down spike strips. Your squad's going to run out of gas before the combine does. I guess what happened is the police just tracked the kid until he finally pulled over to relieve himself. Kind of sounds like fodder for an episode of Cops.
paulak_rumin8: Austin and speck (Default)
Every other Monday I have the day off work, retribution for working every other weekend. And pretty much every Monday I'm off the schedule the powers that be schedule a meeting right in the middle of the afternoon, which is absolutely essential that I attend. The end result is that the important errands I like to run on that blessed day off have a limited amount of time to get accomplished. Unfortunately, I work three towns over.
 
Today I was running the important errands accompanied by three boys, ages 10, 8, and 6, who really wanted to come along for some reason I didn't quite see. I think it had something to do with the hope of super ball vending machines magically meeting with an outpouring of benevolence from Mom in respect to quarters. Here's where it gets silly.

We piled into the sedan and I began to ferry us down Main St., when a thought occurred to me. I had no idea where we were going. There were errands. In town. They were important. I couldn't remember what in the world they were. "Hey guys," I said, "Does anyone here know where we're going?"

Oldest son helpfully supplied, "Wal-Mart, Mom." We got to Wal-Mart, parked, and it hit me. I forgot the shopping list. And the payment for the car insurance I was going to pay. Well, we're already at Wal-Mart, so I might as well get that much done. Throughout the trip, anxious children kept pestering me. "Mom, maybe you should call Dad and ask what's on the list." I know what's on the list, smart-alec children.

After Wal-Mart, we returned home. As soon as I got inside, husband asked, "Did you pick up the glasses?"

Aye, me. I forgot to get daughter's glasses. I also forgot to stop and pay the insurance again. It was ten minutes to five, so I ran out the door again (sans sons). Half-way to the eye doctor's it occurred to me, I still forgot to bring the insurance payment. That's okay. I knew the amount down to the cents and I could just write another check. Finished the errands by five. Got home.

It occurred to me a while later...where's the Wal-Mart groceries? Heh, that's right. Still in the trunk.

Surprisingly enough, I only missed one item off the shopping list, and none of the frozen stuff melted. I think I am vindicated.

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